Felicity Continued
by Chayah
Summary: 10 years down the road...Felicity is married to Ben and Noel to Zoe but things aren't going well...
1. Chapter 1

Felicity Continued  
  
Felicity (to Sally): I can't believe it's been 10 years since I left New York and   
about the same amount of time since I've done this. I'm just so confused and at   
32 I should probably know what I'm doing but I really don't. A lot has changed.   
Noel is still married to Zoe and they have a daughter Casey who is 3 years old.   
She's gorgeous. Sean and Meghan are still married and have 2 children Mark   
and Aries. Can you tell who named who? And I did end up marrying Ben which   
at first couldn't have been more wonderful. We supported each other through   
grad school but then once we both started working our relationship just didn't   
survive it. Sally I don't even think I know him anymore. To make it worse I've   
been talking to Noel on the phone almost everyday and when we aren't talking   
on the phone it's through email. He and Zoe aren't doing so well anymore   
either. She's slipped back into a depression and he's having a hard time dealing   
with it. The only person who's truly been there for me over the years is Noel   
and it makes me wonder…why did I pick Ben over him?  
  
Felicity is sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee looking out the   
window. It's a warm May evening and the sky is clear. Felicity puts down the   
tape recorder and takes a sip of her coffee. Just then the phone rings.  
  
Felicity: Hello.  
Noel: Hey.  
Felicity: I didn't expect to hear from you tonight.  
Noel: Oh I'm sorry, should I go? (sarcastically)  
Felicity: (laughs) So what's up?  
Noel: Well, we are having a surprise party for Meghan and Sean's 10th   
anniversary.  
Felicity: Wow, can you believe they lasted 10 years?  
Noel: Can you believe they have the healthiest relationship of all of us?  
Felicity: Speaking of that, has Zoe gotten any better?  
Noel: No, unfortunately. It's getting so hard taking care of her, taking care   
of Casey and running my own web design company.   
Felicity: You need a vacation.  
Noel: You and I both do. I was hoping you'd come up for the anniversary   
party and we could both unwind a bit. I haven't seen you in years.  
Felicity: That sounds wonderful! I could use a break from here.  
Noel: Well, we are having it this weekend so let me know.  
  
Ben comes home around 2:00 am and he was expected home at around   
11:oo pm. Felicity knew right away he was with that girl. It's being talked about   
all over the office and it's humiliating for Felicity. Felicity is lying in bed as Ben   
walks in.  
Felicity: Ben, I'm going to New York this weekend.  
Ben: Why? (he says while yawning and taking off his shoes)  
Felicity: Meghan and Sean are having their 10th anniversary party. It's a   
surprise.  
Ben: I don't think I can take off work.  
Felicity: I'd like to go by myself anyway.  
Ben: Why?  
Felicity: I need a break Ben. We aren't doing well and I know about you   
and Sarah. I'm tired of all this.  
Ben: So you are running to Noel?  
Felicity: No, I'm going to spend time with my friends and Noel is one of   
them. At this point I don't even know if I care about you and Sarah. I'm just sick   
of sitting around and not saying anything.  
Ben: Whatever.  
They turn out the lights without saying anymore and go to bed.  
  
It's the next day and Felicity has her bags all packed and she's about to   
head out the door. She stops and takes a pad of paper and a pen. She writes on   
it: Ben, please be moved out of here before I get back. She puts it on the   
refrigerator and walks out the door.  
  
Felicity is walking off the plane and is walking speedily to get out to look   
for Noel. Suddenly she sees him ahead waiting for her. She drops her bags   
immediately and runs towards him. They immediately embrace each other with   
such a big hug he picks her up and swings her around. They are both laughing   
and smiling more than they have in years.   
Felicity: I've missed you so much Noel!  
Noel: It's so great to have you hear. New York hasn't been the same since   
you left.  
Felicity: You look so good.  
Noel: You look as gorgeous as always.  
Felicity: (blushing) I can't even believe I'm here! (excitedly)  
Noel: Come on (he grabs her bag she dropped) let's go get the rest of your   
bags.  
Felicity: (they start walking) So where is Casey? I want to meet her.  
Noel: she's at pre school right now. She and Zoe are actually staying with   
Zoe's parent's. Zoe didn't want to be around for the party or anything.   
Felicity: Oh that's too bad (she feels bad she is a little happy about getting   
private time with Noel).  
Noel: So where are you staying?  
Felicity: At the hotel around the corner from Dean & Deluca.  
Noel: It's too bad Javier can't come.  
Felicity: Yeah, all I know is he's doing some play in London lately.  
Noel: Hard to believe huh? (he smiles at her)  
Felicity: I can't believe how much has changed.  
Noel: So Ben didn't come?  
Felicity: (pauses) No…he had to work.  
Noel: Oh (a little pleased to have Felicity to himself)  
Felicity: I guess it's just you and me.  
They smile at each other.  
  
Felicity and Noel walk into the hotel room of Felicity's. She drops down   
her bags and collapses on the bed. Noel sits in a chair across from her with a   
smile.  
Felicity: (blushing) what?  
Noel: It's just so great to just be around you again.  
Felicity: yeah it is.  
There is a moment of silence between them and they are just kind of   
looking at each other. You can tell there is so much they want to say but aren't   
saying anything. Just then Noel's cell phone rings.  
Noel (on phone): Hello…yes Zoe I am picking up Casey at 3…with   
Felicity…don't act like that (frustrated) we were just talking…did you take your   
medication? Well please take it…please Zoe…well I need to go. (he hangs up and   
has a sad look on his face)  
  
Noel: You don't think I'm a horrible husband do you?  
Felicity: No Noel, not at all.  
Noel: I really do love Zoe a lot but she's not even trying to get better. It's   
like she's given up. I just don't have the energy anymore. I'm also afraid of what   
it's doing to Casey. She's such a strong and smart girl but she at 3 years old is   
already worrying about her mother.  
Felicity: I don't blame you. (takes Noel's hand) It's a lot for you to deal   
with.  
Noel: I can't even talk to anyone about this but you.  
Felicity: You can always talk to me.  
Noel: Well do you want to come with me to pick up Casey?  
Felicity: I'd love to (with a big smile)!  
  
Casey comes walking out of the school along with many other children and   
immediately she spots Noel. She then starts running towards him with her arms   
out. She jumps into his arms with the biggest smile ever.  
Casey: Hi daddy!  
Noel: Hey girl!  
Casey: Where's mommy?  
Noel: (pauses) She isn't feeling well Case.  
Casey: Oh (sadly) Who's this? (referring to Felicity)  
Noel: This is my friend Felicity from college. Remember me telling you   
about her?  
Felicity: (smiles) It's nice to meet you.  
Casey smiles at her. They all start walking while Noel is still carrying her.  
Noel: I packed your bags for grammy and grampy's house. Mommy is   
already there waiting for you.  
Casey: Cool!  
Noel puts her back down on the ground and she climbs into the back seat   
of the car.  
Felicity: (sighs) Noel she looks so much like you. She has your eyes and   
smile. She's beautiful.  
Noel: (smiles at Casey) She's the best thing that ever happened to   
me…after you of course (smiles at Felicity).  
Felicity smiles back at him and they have a brief moment. They get in the   
car and leave.  
  
After they drop off Casey with her grandparents they are driving along   
listening to the radio.  
Noel: So what did you want to do now? The party isn't til tomorrow night.  
Felicity: Want to go out for dinner?  
Noel: Definitely, I'm starving.  
Felicity: Me too.  
  
They are sitting at a fancy resturaunt. Felicity is on her 3rd glass of wine   
and Noel on his 4th beer. They are laughing hysterically.  
Felicity: (laughing) I can't believe we set the room on fire!  
Noel: (laughing) Of course everyone had to walk right in.   
Felicity: (calming down) I think I had too much wine.  
Noel: I think you did too (smiles).  
Felicity: Let's get out of here.  
Noel: Yeah we don't want to drink too much.  
  
Felicity and Noel come bursting into the hotel room laughing but trying to   
be quiet. They are both drunk. They have their arms around each other and are   
trying to walk straight. They both collapse onto the bed.  
Felicity: (stops laughing) Water…we need water.  
Noel: That we do. (he pulls himself off the of the bed and wanders across   
the room for water)  
Felicity: I haven't drank like this in ages. Should we drink like this at 32.  
Noel: Speak for yourself. I'm 33 (laughs).  
Felicity: Noel, I don't know what I'd do without you.  
Noel: You'd probably be sober (stumbling over to her)  
Felicity: Good point.  
Noel trips when he gets over to her and the water spills onto her shirt.  
Noel: Oh my god! I'm so sorry (laughing)  
Felicity: (laughing) It's just water Noel.   
Felicity takes her shirt off not even thinking. Noel is kneeling down in   
front of her and looks up. They both stop laughing and look deep into each   
other's eyes. She reaches out her hand and touches his face softly. He closes his   
eyes like he hasn't been touched in years. His hands touch her thighs and his   
head leans forward resting on her chest. He moves his body in between her legs.   
She leans her head forward resting her head on his head. Noel looks back up at   
her and they lean forward toward each other. Their eyes are locked in each   
other's. Their lips are centimeters from kissing and the heat is rising between   
their body's. Just then Noel wraps his arms around her and they embrace in a   
hug. Felicity wraps her arms around him as well and pulls him to her.   
  
The end. 


	2. Chapter 2

Felicity Continued: Chapter 2  
  
Felicity wakes up squinting to the sunlight and putting her hand to her   
head. She has a terrible hangover. She looks to her side and Noel is asleep on the   
other side of the bed. Immediately she looks down to see she still has all her   
clothes on and so does he. Part of her is relieved and part is disappointed. She   
tries to stand up but her head throbs. She pulls herself out of bed stumbles to the   
bathroom. She then splashes some cold water on her face and looks in the   
mirror. All she can wonder is what is she doing?   
She's 32 why is she acting like a 22 year old? She definitely though looked   
like she'd drank last night. She walks out of the bathroom to see Noel fast asleep.   
She'd never actually really seen him sleep and he was even more good looking   
asleep. So peaceful and happy. She hadn't even told him yet about Ben and that   
she'd left him.  
Noel wakes up to Felicity watching him.  
Noel (groggily): Hey…  
Felicity: Hey.  
Noel: I feel like I've been run over by a dump truck.  
Felicity: I share your feelings.  
Noel: We didn't do anything last night right?  
Felicity: No, I don't think so.  
Noel: Good, that would have made a mess huh?  
Felicity: (quietly) Yeah.  
Noel: I should go home (pulling himself out of bed).  
There was so much Felicity wanted to say and talk about. The fact that she   
so badly wanted to kiss him last night. There was a lot she wanted to say but   
there were 2 main reasons she didn't say anything: it was too complicated to get   
into and she was not in any kind of mood to have to "talk."  
Felicity: Will you pick me up later for the party?  
Noel: Of course (seemingly upset)  
Felicity: Are you okay?  
Noel: Just don't feel well, I'll call you later.  
Noel walks out the door and Felicity collapses back into bed with a thud.   
She pulls the covers over her head and goes back to sleep.  
  
It's 6:30 and Felicity is running late. She just barely got out of the shower   
and Noel would be showing up any minute. Just as she started blow drying her   
hair the phone rings. Thinking it's Noel she answers the phone:  
Felicity: Hey, I'm running late.  
Ben: It's me.  
Felicity: Oh hi.  
Ben: Just wanted to say hi.  
Felicity: I can't talk right now I'm running late.  
Ben: Ok…  
Felicity: I'll see you when I get home.  
She hangs up without even saying goodbye. She feels bad for a second but   
then she remembers what a rush she is in again. Then there is a knock at the   
door. She opens it to Noel. He looks incredibly handsome. He's got loose   
charcoal gray slacks on with a light gray dress shirt with a tie. She had to control   
the look on her face when she saw him because she was just so in awe.  
Felicity: (forgetting she was running late) Noel you look…soo good.  
Noel: Are you not even ready yet? (he says with his usual Noel smile)  
Felicity: No I'm sorry, I've been moving really slow all day.  
Noel: It's ok…we've got a little bit of time. They aren't even showing up to   
the party until 8.  
Felicity goes back to fixing her hair.  
Felicity: I can't wait to see Meghan and Sean. Are their kids going to be   
there?  
Noel: I doubt it. But I'm sure you can see them before you leave.  
Felicity: It must be so great to have kids.(looking into mirror)  
Noel: How come you and Ben haven't had any?  
Felicity: We are both too busy.  
Noel: That's too bad.   
Felicity: Well, he's already got his son so…  
Noel: But having a child with you…that would be so much more (smiles)  
Felicity pauses and smiles at Noel into the mirror. She then comes   
running out into the room trying to zip up her dress but the zipper is stuck.  
Noel: Want me to help you with that?  
Felicity: Yeah thanks.  
She stands with her back to him and he looks up her smooth bare back.   
His finger for a moment grazes the lower of her back and she takes in a deep   
breath. He then pulls himself out of the moment and zips her up. Felicity turns   
to face him and there is a brief but long silence.  
Noel: I'm so glad you are here.   
Felicity: Me too. (smiles)  
  
They show up at Meghan and Sean's apartment with just enough time to   
hide before they show up. The whole apartment is decorated in celebration. Noel   
introduces Felicity to everyone she doesn't already know. Noel spends a lot of   
time with Sean and Meghan so he knows most of the people. Felicity gets to give   
a quick but big hug to Elena who is there with her boyfriend of 5 years Rick.  
Noel then hurries her with him to hide behind the sofa. There are already   
several people behind there so they have to really huddle close together. In order   
to get comfortable Noel puts his arm around her and she leans into him.   
Suddenly she feels the heat rising between them. His warm breath is on the back   
of her neck giving her chills. Most people there are in anticipation of Meghan   
and Sean showing up but for Felicity it is anything but. For Felicity it's the fact   
that all she can think about is Noel and she hasn't felt feelings like this in a very   
long time. She knows that Noel is feeling just what she's feeling because his hand   
is touching her hip in a way trying to tell her that he is feeling her. She turns her   
head back towards him and they look into each other's eyes. Their lips are inches   
away from each other when suddenly everyone jumps up and yells "SURPRISE!"   
Felicity and Noel are caught off guard and jump up just after everyone else   
and it looks kind of awkward. Everyone looks at them suspiciously, especially   
Meghan. Then everyone runs up to them and congratulates them. Felicity and   
Noel look at each other and then separately walk up to Meghan and Sean.  
Felicity walks right up and gives Meghan a huge hug.  
Meghan: I fucking hate surprise parties. I hope this wasn't your idea.  
Felicity: (laughs) No…not my idea this time.   
They go to get drinks.  
Felicity: So how is everything here?  
Meghan: No much different other than I have 3 kids to take care of.  
Felicity: (confused) I thought you only had 2 kids?  
Meghan: I have 2 little children and one big kid…my husband.  
Felicity laughs.  
Felicity: So I can't believe you made it 10 years.  
Meghan: Well you and Ben aren't so far behind.  
Felicity: Yeah (quietly)  
Meghan: Ok…what's going on? You never ever talk about Ben anymore   
and then you're acting all weird with Noel here.  
Felicity: I don't know…  
Meghan: Are you and Ben not doing well?  
Felicity: Meghan, this is your night. Let's not talk about me.  
Felicity turns away with a look on her face showing she is beyond   
confused. She takes a big sip of her cocktail. She looks across the room at Noel   
who laughing talking with Sean. Suddenly Noel's eyes met hers and they smiled   
at each other. What was going on between them? She had chosen Ben over Noel   
over and over again but she just had this pull towards Noel. She suddenly felt like   
she was schizophrenic or something.  
  
Hours later the party was over and everyone was gone. Now it was just   
Felicity and Meghan sitting on the couch having wine catching up. Noel and Sean   
were in the other room on the computer. Noel was showing him some web   
design he had done recently.  
Meghan: I feel so bad for Noel.  
Felicity: Why?  
Meghan: Because he's been through so much in the last several years.   
After Zoë had the Casey she just hit this huge depression and hasn't been able to   
get out of it. Noel has done everything he possibly could do for her. He's brought   
her to so many doctors and been so understanding. Now it's just gotten to the   
point that really she doesn't want help. I think she's in the process of moving out   
right now to move in with her parents.  
Felicity: Oh my god. I didn't know that. What about Casey?  
Meghan: Zoë wants Casey to stay with her but Noel really wants her to stay   
with him. It's gotten really ugly. He's a mess about it.  
Felicity didn't know what to say. He'd left so much of this out with her.   
She was really worried about him.  
  
Felicity and Noel said their good-byes to Meghan and Sean then left. They   
decided to walk back to her hotel room. It was a warm May evening. They   
walked slowly not saying much and when they did it was just about how great it   
was to all be together. Felicity loved how they didn't even have to talk and they   
still had an amazing time together.  
Noel walked her up to her door and they stopped. They stood in silence   
for a few seconds.  
Noel: About last night.  
Felicity: Noel, you don't have to say anything.  
Noel: I do…I didn't mean for things to get like they did last night. I didn't   
mean to drink so much and pass out there.   
Felicity: Nothing happened…don't worry about it.  
Noel: But the thing is…something did happen. For me that is.  
Felicity stood there in shock.  
Noel: I feel like the biggest fool on the planet but since the day I met you I   
haven't been able to stop thinking about you. It's like you made this huge mark   
on my soul. And time after time you picking Ben and even marrying Ben I still   
think of you often. And now things aren't working out for me and it makes me   
wonder if I really just tried to find someone who could replace you. That sounds   
terrible doesn't it? I mean I love Zoë and I always will…but when I'm around you   
it's like…everything. It's like I don't question anything but at the same time I   
question everything. And I couldn't help but wonder if you were feeling the same   
kinds of things last night and even if you weren't I had to get this out. My feelings   
are not worth losing the friendship I have with you because I can't imagine you   
not in my life in some way for the rest of my life. And I know this is so wrong of   
me since we are both married but I just had to say it.  
Felicity: Noel…  
Noel: Really you don't have to say anything.  
Felicity: Noel…I know exactly how you feel. You just summed up for me   
how I've been feeling for years and especially tonight. It's like I thought things   
were finished for us at the end of college. I was really happy when I married Ben   
but then I just found myself needing more and you were the one giving me all the   
rest of what I needed.  
Noel: I was kind of hoping you wouldn't agree with me…it would have   
been a lot easier.  
Felicity: Oh…  
Noel: But at the same time you just made my life.  
They go to hug each other passionately. His lips barely touch her neck and   
she'd do just about anything to be able to kiss him right there. They pull back   
and again look into each other. They are breathing heavily and it's taking every   
ounce of will power they have to not give in. Just then Noel pulls himself away,   
kisses her cheek and walks away.   
  
The next morning Felicity goes over to Meghan and Sean's to say goodbye   
and to meet their kids. She also has coffee with Elena. She has her taxi stop just   
in front of Noel's apartment for a moment as she looks up out of the window. For   
a brief moment she contemplates going up there but she knows it just isn't the   
ring time. The thing is…will it ever be? 


	3. Chapter 3

Felicity Continued: Chapter 3  
  
The flight home Felicity was deep in thought. About what was going on   
between her and Noel? What was going on with her marriage? She had to start   
making some decisions.  
  
When she came home Ben had in fact mostly moved out. There were a few   
boxes around. The place felt really empty and she felt unbelievably lonely there.   
At the same time she almost felt at peace for a moment. Like her life was finally   
changing.  
There was a note on the refrigerator from Ben giving a number to where he   
was staying. She didn't recognize the number. She picked up the phone and   
dialed it.  
Woman's Voice: Hello?  
Felicity: (paused for a moment) Um…yeah…is Ben there?  
Woman's Voice: Yeah…he's in the shower. Can I take a message?  
Felicity: Yeah just have him call his wife.  
Woman's Voice: (nervously) Oh, uh. Ok. Sure.  
Felicity then hung up the phone. She was through with him. She couldn't   
even remember what she ever saw in him. It seems like with him it's just been a   
life of disappointments.  
Felicity then went on the computer to check her email. She got an email   
from Noel:  
I know you just left but I wanted to say again how much I loved having   
you here. Things are so hard right now and having you as a friend makes   
things so much easier sometimes. I know I didn't tell you while you were here   
but Zoë moved out. It wasn't even my decision but hers. She also took Casey   
with her and won't let me see her right now. I hope things are going better in   
Palto Alto.   
Love always,  
Noel  
Felicity wanted to respond but she didn't know what to say. She didn't   
know what to do. Though she did have to be at work in an hour so she went to   
get ready.  
  
At work her mind was somewhere else. Her mind was in New York. She   
just loved New York so much and it felt like home. Going back there this past   
weekend reminded her it still felt so much like home. Here, she felt alone. Just   
then she realized what she had to do. She resigned from the hospital and told   
them she'd give them 2 weeks notice. As she did that she realized how much   
happier she felt. Like a big weight had been lifted off her shoulders.  
She couldn't wait until she got home. On her dinner break she made a call   
on her cell phone.  
Noel: Hello.  
Felicity: I'm moving back to New York.  
Noel: What?  
Felicity: I just resigned from my position at the hospital and Ben moved   
out while I was away. I'm moving back in 2 weeks.  
Noel: Um…ok. Are you sure about this?  
Felicity: I'm more sure about this than I've been about anything in years.  
Noel: That's great! I'm happy you are moving out here. Where are you   
going to live?  
Felicity: Well…I haven't quite thought that far yet. Maybe Meghan and   
Ben have room?  
Noel: I have extra room if you need a place.  
Felicity: Don't you think that will be weird? With all that's going on.  
Noel: Maybe but we've been in weirder situations.  
Felicity: Ok…just until I get my own place though. I can't wait to live on   
my own.  
Noel: I don't blame you.  
Felicity hung up and went back to work feeling amazing.  
  
The next night Felicity had dinner plans with Ben. She wanted to get   
things settled. When she got there he was already sitting at a table having a beer.  
Felicity: Hey.  
Ben: Hey.  
Felicity: How are you doing?  
Felicity orders a martini.  
Ben: I'm good and you?  
Felicity: I'm great. I just resigned from my position at the hospital.  
Ben: What? Why?  
Felicity: I'm moving back to New York.  
Ben: Oh (sadly)…  
Felicity: Ben…you mean too much to me to be on bad terms with you. I   
think we both need to accept that this is over and has been for many years.   
Ben: Yeah…  
Felicity: And I mean you've already moved onto another woman. I was   
upset about it for a long time but I'm not anymore.  
Ben: Are you moving there for Noel?  
Felicity: No…I'm moving to NY for myself.  
Ben: That's good. I'm happy for you.  
They finish dinner and laugh and talk. Things aren't wonderful between   
them but maybe way down the road they can be friends again. They had just   
become different people. They'd grown in different directions; all the lovely   
clichés. Though at least their marriage hadn't ended like a cliché. Maybe she was   
finally doing something right with her life.  
  
In 2 weeks she finished up everything with work which was much more of   
a hassle than she thought it would be. She packed up her apartment. She even   
sold her Honda Prelude because she really wouldn't need a car in NY. She felt   
really bare now…but very liberated. She stood in her apartment and how it   
looked so empty. She had a lot of good times in this apartment but it wasn't the   
life she had wanted.   
Before she knew it she was getting in a cab from the airport in New York.   
Noel wanted to come and pick her up but she told him he should spend the time   
with his daughter. When she arrived in New York with all her bags as she   
stepped out of the cab she felt like she was a freshman again. At the front door   
she rang the buzzer to Noel's apartment.  
Noel (on speaker): Hello?  
Felicity: I'm here!  
Noel (on speaker): I'll be right down.  
Next thing she knew Noel swung the front door open and took her bags   
from her.  
Noel: I don't know why you didn't just let me pick you up at the airport.  
Felicity: Stop it. I really didn't mind just coming here by myself. I didn't   
want you to have to drag Casey with you.  
Noel: Casey loves going to the airport. She's an odd kid.  
Felicity: (smiles) Takes after her father.  
Noel: Hey! (laughs)  
When they get into Noel's apartment he immediately takes her to her   
room. Her room was just right and she was really happy about it. The apartment   
was really nice too. As he was giving her a tour Casey came running up to   
Felicity. She insisted to show Felicity what her own room looked like. Noel had a   
the biggest smile she'd ever seen on his face when he saw how much Casey liked   
Felicity.  
Afterwards Noel made dinner for everyone. The 3 of them sat around the   
dinner table talking for the longest time. Casey could sure go on and on forever   
but Felicity adored her. At one point during dinner when Felicity and Casey got   
into a long-winded talk Noel reached over and touched Felicity's hand. She   
looked over at him and smiled. She was happy be to be there.  
  
That night after Noel put Casey to bed Felicity made the 2 of them some   
tea. They both sat in the living room and talked for hours.   
Felicity: So is anything getting better with Zoe?  
Noel: No…(sadly)I got the divorce papers today at work.  
Felicity: Oh my god Noel. I'm so sorry.  
Noel: It's fine. I mean…I've seen it coming for a long time. The problem is   
Casey. I don't know how we'll tell her.  
Felicity: Are you sure there isn't any way to work it out?  
Noel: No, I'm tired and she just doesn't care anymore. (paused) How did   
everything go with Ben?  
Felicity: Ben is already living with this girl from the hospital Sandra.   
Things ended really well for us surprisingly. I look back to when we were in   
college and I can't believe I was so infatuated with him (laughs).  
Noel: I've never stopped looking at you how I saw you in college. I can't   
imagine I ever will.  
Felicity blushes and takes a sip of her tea.  
Noel: Again I'm sorry about everything at the hotel when I dropped you off   
after the party. I don't know what I was doing.  
Felicity: It's ok…really.  
Noel: No it's not. Because I can't get involved with you right now and it's   
probably best you don't with me either. I think we both need each other more as   
friends now than anything.  
Felicity: (disappointed) Yeah, I know.  
Noel: But I'm glad to have you here. I thought it might but weird but it   
really isn't.   
Noel touches her knee and smiles.  
Felicity smiles back at him.  
Noel: Well I'm off to bed. Just shut off the light when you go to bed.  
Felicity: Ok, goodnight Noel.  
Noel: Good night Felicity.  
Felicity stood up and walked across the room to look at all the family   
pictures. There was a very sweet picture of Noel, Zoë and Casey together. They   
were at a picnic and they were all smiling like everything was wonderful. How   
did it get that Noel and Felicity were both suddenly getting divorces?  
  
The next day after an interview with a hospital Felicity met Meghan for   
lunch. The kids were at school so they were all by themselves.  
Meghan: I can't believe you up and left Ben to move in with Noel.  
Felicity: (laughs) I didn't just leave Ben and move in with Noel!  
Meghan just looks at her with a smirk.  
Felicity: Ok I did do that but not in the tone you are using.  
Meghan: So what's going on with you and Noel?  
Felicity: We are just friends (takes a bite of her sandwich)  
Meghan: This is me. Remember? I don't buy all your bullshit.  
Felicity: Well…there is something there. There's always been something   
there. There have been a few times I thought we might kiss but we haven't.   
Nothing has happened with us.  
Meghan: Oh come on. I come to you for dirty details and stuff and you tell   
me nothing happened. I'm trying to vicariously live through your sorted affairs.  
Felicity: I'm not having an affair.  
Meghan: Yeah tell me about it.  
Felicity: How is Sean? And the kids?  
Meghan: You know that Noel is still madly in love with you right?  
Felicity: Can't we ever have a conversation where it's about something   
other than Noel and me?  
Meghan: Yeah in what world?  
They both laugh.  
  
When Felicity came back to the apartment later the door was open and   
people were moving stuff out.   
Felicity: What's going on?  
Zoe's father: We are moving all of Zoe and Casey's stuff out. You must be   
Felicity.  
Feeling ashamed by how he said that she barely squeaked out with a yes.   
Just then Zoe came around the corner. Her hair was a mess like she hadn't   
showered in days and she was in sweatpants that appeared she lived in.  
Zoe: (coldly) Hi Felicity.  
Felicity: Hi Zoe. What's going on?  
Zoe: So far the courts said I could have Casey live with me.  
Felicity: Does Noel know about this?  
Zoe: Yes, he's at his lawyer's office right now.  
Felicity: (worried) Oh…  
Zoe: So, pretty convenient that both you and Noel's marriages are ending   
huh? I had always expected you'd try to take Noel away again.  
Felicity: (offended) Zoe…  
Zoe: You just refuse to let him go.   
Zoe turned around and walked out the door with a box of stuff. Soon   
everyone was gone. Felicity couldn't help but feel terrible. To the outside world   
it did seem like it was her fault. Like her marriage fell apart so as always she ran   
to Noel. But to her that wasn't what it was. Noel was an amazing friend of hers.   
But who was she kidding? She did still have feelings for him…feelings she would   
never be able to explain to anyone.  
  
Noel didn't come home until late and he looked terrible when he walked in   
the door. Felicity was sitting on the couch with a cup of tea. She stood up   
immediately when he came in the door and ran towards him.  
Felicity: Are you ok?  
Noel: No…Zoe moved Casey out entirely (he said obviously upset)  
Felicity: I know…I showed up here when they were moving the stuff out.  
Noel: Oh god, did you run into Zoe?  
Felicity: Yeah I'm sorry, I didn't know.  
Noel: No, I just feel bad because I'm sure she didn't say the nicest things to   
you.  
Felicity: Nothing I haven't had said to me before (she said to get him to   
laugh)  
Noel had a faint smile.  
Noel: I just can't believe Casey is gone and I can't believe Zoe is using her   
against me. I can't lose her.  
Felicity was genuinely touched at how truly upset he was about the whole   
thing. She knew in her heart that Noel would make such a great father and he   
has. Noel went and sat down on the couch and Felicity followed him. Though   
instead she went behind him and started giving his shoulders a little of a   
massage. He leaned his head back with his eyes closed enjoying it.  
Felicity: Is there anything I can do?  
Noel turned around and looked up at her. His eyes were like calm waters   
just inviting her in. He reached out his hand and took hold of hers. Felicity sat   
down next to him and kept looking down at her hand as he stroked it. He then   
started crying, not hysterically but quietly. She didn't know what to do. She then   
got up and had him lie down on the couch. He right then pulled her down with   
him and spooned her on the couch. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled   
her as close as possible to him. His body felt so warm and inviting.  
Then as if everything weren't intense enough she heard him whisper   
something. She wasn't sure but she thinks he said I love you. 


	4. Chapter 4 Common Ground

****

Chapter 4

When Felicity woke up the next morning she immediately saw a note next to the coffee machine that was full of fresh coffee.

__

When to work. Remember...make yourself at home. This is your place too.

Noel

Felicity smiled and made herself a cup of coffee. She sat down at the relaxed for a little bit. She had to be at work for 9am to start her first shift. She was really nervous because she had heard how hectic the NYC ER could be. 

The very moment she walked in the doors of the ER she realized just how right she was. It was noisy and everyone was running around like crazy. She felt her heart pounding just standing there but she was excited to start. 

"I'm looking for Dr. Giddings," she mentioned to the young guy she saw at the front desk.

"Why?" he replied a little rudely and not even looking up from the computer.

"I'm the new resident here," Felicity said already a little agrivated.

"Yeah um...he should be out any minute," he said briefly glancing at the clock but looking back at the computer.

"Could you look at me when I'm talking to you?" she said annoyed.

"Why?" he asked still not looking up.

Felicity really didn't want to bother anymore so she just went to sit down for a minute. Just then she heard someone call the name "Dr. Giddings!" and the guy that had just walked in front of her turned and said something back to the person. She then jumped up.

"Dr. Giddings!" Felicity said standing right in front of him and he jumped a little.

"Yeah?" he said as some other doctor was trying to talk to him. Felicity waited til they were done and continued.

"Hi, I'm Felicity Covington. I'm the new resident."

"Oh hi, you can call me Andrew," he said shaking her hand, "you've got a busy couple weeks ahead of you. It takes a lot of time and energy to get used to this place."

"Well I'm ready," she said as he started taking her around.

Felicity stumbled into the apartment and collapsed on the couch. She let a big sigh as Noel came out of his office.

"How was your first day?" he asked.

"It was insane. I don't know if I took a breath all day long," she said tossing off her shoes onto the floor.

"You love it don't you?" he asked with a smile as he started making tea in the kitchen.

"Of course," she said as she smiled at him, "I'm still exhaused and starving."

"Well dinner is almost ready," he said.

"It smells great! I had no idea you were such a great cook."

"There are many things you don't know about me."

"I'm starting to realize that," she said sitting up, "it's pretty funny how you were always my best friend but there was so much I didn't know about you."

"Because all you ever really cared about was Ben," Noel said smiling trying to make that some sort of a joke but it didn't quite come out right.

"Noel..." Felicity said getting up and walking over towards him.

"No really it's ok. I mean, it's my fault that I was so in love with you when you only loved Ben. I should have been a better friend and stopped loving you like that," he said paying a lot of attention to the tea he was making.

"Noel..." she said putting her hand on top of his, "I've always loved you. I've never met a guy like you in my entire life."

"Then why'd you always go to Ben?" he asked finally looking at her and she could see the pain in his eyes.

"I don't know," she said looking away from him and starting to pace, "I don't know why I did a lot of things in my 20's. I look back on my entire relationship with Ben and I'm not sure what I loved about him so much. Yeah it was passionate and it was complicated but in the long run that just wasn't enough. What I find so funny is that as long as I've known him he's always been just as jealous of you as you were of him."

"Really?" Noel said with a smile, "I know I shouldn't be happy about that but I am."

"Yeah, I think I thought I could turn what Ben and I had into more than it was but I never did."

"Yeah?" he said handing her a cup of tea.

"I always found myself wondering about what it would have been like if I'd chosen you all that time ago. I wondered if the thing with Hannah and Eli hadn't happened what might have happened with us," she said sitting down at the kitchen table with her tea.

"You would have still chosen Ben," he said taking a sip of tea.

"I don't know about that," she said trying to get him to look at her.

"Yeah, I don't," he said getting up and heading towards his room.

"Where are you going Noel?" she said standing up.

"To my room."

"Why?"

"Because I can't do all this anymore. I'd be the stupidest guy on the planet to go in this direction again to just have Ben sweep you off your feet all over again. Leaving me on the sidelines being the best friend again. I mean...I could never not be your best friend but I just can't do anymore than that," he said noticably upset.

"But Noel..."Felicity said walking towards him.

"Good night Felicity," he said walking in his room and closing the door.

Felicity just stood there for what seemed like forever realizing that all she was doing and has been doing to Noel for as long as she'd known him wasn't fair. Why had she always chosen Ben? Why did she think that Ben was her soulmate all these years? He didn't know her like Noel. Ben didn't make her her heart fill so much when she saw him that she thought it'd explode, Noel did. More than having Noel in her arms she just really wanted Noel happy. Right then she realized that maybe she couldn't do that for him.

Felicity didn't see Noel at all the next day. She realized that she really needed to get her own apartment. It would be best for everyone. As she was going through the classifieds the phone rang.

"Hello?" Felicity answered.

"Hey, it's Megean," she said as Felicity felt disappointed it wasn't Noel, "don't you work?"

"Not today," she laughed, "but I'm looking for an apartment right now.

"Why bother? It's a lot easy to bonk Noel if you live together," she said as she heard Megean's kids running around her.

"Megean! Your kids!" 

"Yeah yeah, Sean is always yelling at me for how I talk around the kids. I figure...they're going to learn it eventually," she said in her usual tone.

"Well, Noel and I just can't live together right now."

"So much sex you guys not making it to work?"

"Megean! We're not even divorced yet!"

"Ok...so you guys haven't fucked yet huh?"

"No!"

"So what's the problem?"

"He's not over what I did to him and I don't blame him," Felicity said sadly.

"I don't blame him either," Megean said bluntly.

"Thanks."

"Felicity, you used Noel. You used him when you couldn't have Ben and that's the truth. If you have truly realized that it's Noel that you want you are going to have to put yourself on the line. You are going to have to prove to him without a doubt that he is who you want to be with," Megean said, "Aries I'm on the phone. Go make mommy a glass of diet coke."

"Wow, where did that come from?" 

"All that maternal instinct or something I guess."

"You're right though."

"I'm always right, you just don't normally listen to me."

"Well, I'm listening this time," Felicity said.

"Did you and Noel want to do dinner with me, Sean, Elena and her guy tonight?"

"Sure, well I'll ask Noel but it's probably fine."

"Great, meet us at Hannigan's at 7. Ok, ok I'm coming. Chill!" Megean said to her children.

"Bye," Felicity said with a laugh.

Felicity waited until quarter of 7 but Noel never came home so before she left she put a note on the refrigerator telling him where everyone would be. The resteraunt was only a few blocks away from the apartment so she decided to walk. She thought back to her college years and all the amazing times she had with Noel. She thought about all the laughing, the long talks, how he'd always been there for her and how she would get these tingles everytime they looked at each other. She remembered all the times she chose Ben over Noel and all the times she'd regretted it. She even remembered the amazing night she spent on the roof with Noel. That one night it was almost as if Ben had never existed. So why on earth did she go back to Ben?

Half way through apetizers Noel showed up.

"Sorry, I had to go to see my lawyer again," he said sitting down and giving a smile to Felcity as if to say hi.

"How is that all going anyway?" Elena asked.

"It couldn't be worse, but I don't really want to talk about that tonight," he said ordering a beer.

Felicity touched Noel's leg under the table gently and looked at him as if to say how sorry she was. Sorry about what was going on with his divorce, sorry about the fight they had last night and sorry for all those years ago she'd broken his heart. His hand then touched hers and smiled back. It was still uncomfortable though.

After dinner they sat there still having drinks and talking. They all had so much to catch up on. Elena was starting her own practice and Sean had actually sold one of his inventions. Then the song "Do What You Have To Do" by Sarah McLauchlan came on and the others got up to dance to it. Felicity and Noel sat there in a sea of tension. 

"I should probably head back. I have some things I have to look over for tomorrow and I really need to get sleep to look at apartments tomorrow before work..." she said as Noel suddenly stood up. He looked down at her and took her hand. He then led her onto the dance floor. Just then Felicity realized she'd never danced with Noel before and it felt so warm comfortable. She couldn't believe she hadn't danced with him before. Ben was never a very good dancer but Noel was very smooth. His arm around her and his hand touching her lower back. She leaned her head on his shoulder and let out a sweet breath of ecstacy. She could feel his heart pounding so hard next to hers.

Just then she looked up at him during these lyrics:

__

And I have the sense to recognize that  
I don't know how to let you go  
every moment marked  
with apparitions of your soul  
I'm ever swiftly moving  
trying to escape this desire  
the yearning to be near you  
I do what I have to do  
the yearning to be near you  
I do what I have to do  
but I have the sense to recognize  
that I don't know how  
to let you go  
I don't know how  
to let you go

When she realized that those lyrics couldn't be more true. She'd never let Noel go. She'd always been in love with 2 guys but Noel was not only someone she was in love with but he was her best friend. At that moment she'd never wanted to kiss someone, to touch them so much. She could feel he felt the same exact way. 

Just then his hand was grazing her cheek so slowly and it was as if her mind turned to mush. She'd always wondered what true unadulturated ecstacy felt like and right at that moment she knew. Right at that moment she knew that for the rest of her life she didn't want to be in anyone's arms but his. She realized that nothing could come between her finally being with him and that she'd make him realize that he was everything to her.

This time she took everything into her own hands. She closed her eyes and leaned in to kiss him but in her nervous state she kissed his neck. He took it as her changing her mind and he just pulled her in close. A few more tears rolled down her cheak because all she wanted was him. Once you realize what you want nothing hurts more than to not have it. Right then she realized how it felt for Noel all those years and she started really crying right there.

Noel then pulled her away and looked at her with very sad eyes. He then had a small smile and wiped away her tears with his finger. He put his arm around her and after he said goodbye to everyone he walked her home.

In the elevator of his apartment building was shear torture. She was leaning against the wall and Noel was leaning over her. They were on the verge of kissing but neither could find the courage though at the same time they couldn't find the strength to pull away either. When they got to his floor Felicity smiled at him and took his hand leading him to his apartment. As they walked up to the door Noel wrapped his arms around her from behind when suddenly someone walked from out of the dark of the hallway. It was Ben.

"Hey," he said obviously sad at what he saw.

"Hey," Felicity said stepping out of Noel's arms.

"Can we talk?" Ben asked as Noel walked towards the door.

Felicity looked back at Noel trying to convey to him that she had to talk to him for a moment and that he had nothing to worry about. Noel just nodded and went inside. Felicity and Ben went outside.

"Why are you here?" Felicity asked as they started walking through the streets of NY. It'd been a long time since she'd walked like this with him again. But all she wanted to do was be upstairs with Noel, seeing wherever it was going to go next. Somehow Ben always got in the way. 

"I miss you," he said in his usual whisper voice.

"What happened with that girl?" Felicity said getting it out of the way.

"She knew I was still in love with you so I moved out."

"You mean she kicked you out?"

"Does that really matter?"

Felicity laughed to herself a little. Did she ever really fall for this shit? She suddenly realized how naive she was before. She wanted to laugh out loud but she kept it to herself.

"Ben, I need to get to sleep," Felicity said stopping and turning towards him.

"Do you want to come to my place?" Ben asked touching her hand and looking into her eyes like he always did. For a split second she considered it because it would be easier than going to Noel. Because she was married to Ben still and maybe she should try to work it out. But in the end she knew that her fantasy of Ben was was gone. She wanted to finally face her real feelings. Her feelings for Noel.

"I gotta go...and you should too Ben," she said giving him a hug.

"Is it Noel?" He said as she started walking away.

"I think it kind of always has been which is weird because I always thought it was you," Felicity said as she kind of wrapped her arms around herself. She finally _knew _and it felt great. As she walked away she didn't have the slightest urge to turn back at all. She couldn't wait to get to Noel's apartment. She was now determined to make it work. She was also going to finally put Ben behind her for good.

When she got inside the apartment she saw Noel was asleep on the couch. She could tell he was waiting for her. She nelt down beside him and looked at him sleep for a moment. She imagined herself kissing his lips and him holding her in his arms. She imagined waking up to him for the rest of her life and nothing ever felt so right. She wished she hadn't waited so long. But she didn't wake him up. She just gently kissed his soft lips, pulled a blanket over him and went to bed.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Things had been busy for a while so Felicity and Noel didn't get much time to spend together. She was working late shifts while he was working during the day. Still though they'd leave each other notes on the dry erase board on the refrigerator. Cute notes with a hint of flirting that had her smiling everyday. That was something that Noel was always good for, making Felicity smile.

Though she realized no matter how much she wanted things to work with Noel she still needed to get her own apartment. She finally had the day off and she took the opportunity to look at an apartment. She must have looked at 11 different apartments all day when she finally found one that she fell in love with.

As she walked in she knew immediately it was meant for her. All hardwood floors, high ceilings, and plenty of open space. Also it had tons of sunlight pooring through the windows and it was close enough to work that she could just take one T ride. The price was a little steep for her but she figured that it would be worth it in the long run. After she signed the lease on the apartment she met Elena for lunch.

"So you finally found a place?" Elena said taking a sip of her Coke.

"Oh yeah, it's amazing," Felicity said pulling her hair out of her face into a pony tail in the back, "it screams my name."

"Has Noel been screaming your name as well?" Elena said with a smirk.

"Elena!" Felicity said throwing a rolled up napkin at her and laughing.

"You are seriously telling me you guys haven't boned each other yet?"

"Elena! You'd think in your thirties you'd have grown up a bit," Felicity said taking a bite of her salad.

"Of course not," she said with a smile, "so I'm taking that as a no."

"No, Noel and I kissed but nothing else. We haven't even seen each other much in weeks now."

"Have you heard from Ben at all?" 

"Just his lawyer," Felicity said sadly, "I don't understand how I could have gotten my life so wrong?"

"Everything happens for a reason Felicity. I think maybe you were supposed to be with Ben so it could lead you to Noel when you were ready."

The waiter came by and gave them their bill.

"So I was supposed to fall in love with Ben, marry Ben and then realize that I had been in love with Noel all along?" Felicity said confused.

"I never said your life made any sense. I just said that you are where you are right now for a reason. How do you feel about Noel?" she asked stirring her straw in her glass.

"When I look at him I can't imagine what I was thinking being with anyone else. When I think about him I want to cry for all the years I missed being with him," Felicity said softly looking into her glass.

"Then that's all you need to know," Elena said with a smile to her and Felicity smiled back.

When Felicity got back to the apartment Noel still wasn't home. She decided to start packing everything up since she was hoping to move in this coming weekend. Felicity was trying to pull a box down from a high shelf in her closet but lost her balance but Noel showed up just in time to catch her. She turned around to look up at him and was greeted with the biggest smile ever. 

"Hey," he said as she put the box down.

"Hey you," she said blushing and stepping out of his arms to continue packing.

"What are you doing?" he asked sitting down on the edge of her bed.

"Oh yeah, I found an apartment," Felicity said excited.

"Oh really?" Noel said notably disappointed.

"Are you upset?" Felicity asked.

"No no, this is great. I know you've always wanted to live on your own. I'm so happy for you," he said giving her a hug, "I'm just going to miss having you around."

"Yeah we've both been pretty busy lately huh?"

"Yeah...so how's the apartment?" he asked helping her tape up some boxes.

"It's great Noel. You are going to love it."

"When can I see it?"

"When you help me move in this weekend," she said with a smirk.

"Oh I see how it is," he said as he started heading out the door, "I have some things I have to work on. Did you want to order in?"

"Sounds good," Felicity said as he walked out of the room.

"Oh you got some mail," Noel yelled from the other room.

"Thanks!" she yelled back.

She went and got the envelope. When she opened it she realized that it was her divorce papers from Ben. She sat down on her bed because it overwhelmed her more than she thought. She looked down at her wedding ring still on her finger. She wasn't quite sure why she hadn't taken it off yet but she still didn't feel right.

Noel stepped into her room to say something but realized Felicity was upset.

"What is it?" he asked sitting down next to her.

"It's done," Felicity said staring at the letter, "my marriage is over."

Noel just put his hand on her leg and let her sit with him in silence for a little bit.

"What do you say we get some Ben & Jerry's and watch _Tommy Boy?_" he asked trying to get a smile on her and it worked.

"Yeah that sounds perfect."

They watched the movie and each ate an entire pint of ice cream. They laughed so hard that their stomachs hurt by the end of the movie. Felicity curled up next to Noel and let his warmth flow through her.

"It's all going to be ok you know?" he said running his fingers through her hair.

"How do you know?" she asked starting to feel sad again.

He then turned her face up towards his and looked her deep into her eyes.

"Because we're going to get through this together. We are both going through divorces now and we'll carry each other," he said as she almost wanted to cry but for different reasons.

"Do you think everything happens for a reason?" Felicity asked as she lay her head back on his chest. 

"How else would you explain everything?" he said as she could feel the vibrating through his chest into her skin. She could feel everything about him.

After a few minutes Felicity and Noel went off to bed in their separate bedrooms. As Felicity curled up in bed and turned off the lights she realized that things really were going to be ok. She was divorced but it was only another stage in her life. She had a chance to finally do everything right. With that she slid her wedding ring off her finger and placed it in the bedside drawer. Then she went to sleep.

Saturday Noel helped her move into her apartment all day. Over the week she had bought a lot of the furniture she wanted and she was so excited to be on her own. Sean also came by for a while to help them move but mostly he kept trying to give them advice and eventually she sent him home. By 7:00 pm they were finally finished and exhausted. 

"I'm starving," Felicity said as she collapsed on her couch.

"Food," was all Noel said as he lay down on the floor.

"Let's shower up and then have dinner," Felicity said as she showed Noel where the towels were. 

When Noel was done he came walking out into the living room dripping wet in a towel. She was stunned at how gorgeous he looked and her mouth must have dropped wide open.

"What?" he asked with a smile.

"Oh um, nothing," Felicity said.

"I just wanted to ask you where the mouthwash was?" he asked folding his arms obviously cold.

"Oh yeah," she said flustered going to one of the boxes and taking it out. She handed it to him as she blushed uncontrollably.

"I'm going to go get dressed," he said with a smile and went back to the bathroom.

Next Felicity took a shower and all she could think about was how Noel was in the other room. She was going to miss him not being around more but she knew she'd see him in most of her free time.

When Felicity walked out of the bathroom fully clothed she saw a flickering in the living room. As she walked into the living room she realized he had setup a picnic in candlelight. There was even Chinese food waiting.

"Oh Noel," she said in shock.

"Hungry?" he said walking out of the kitchen and sitting on the ground.

"Definitely," she said sitting down with him.

She then realized he'd setup her stereo and the CD of Sarah McLauchlan was playing. The song _Possession _was playing which couldn't be more perfect:

__

And I would be the one  
to hold you down  
kiss you so hard  
I'll take your breath away  
and after, I'd wipe away the tears  
just close your eyes.

They talked and laughed as they ate dinner but then Noel paused in thought for a moment. 

"Felicity, can I talk to you about something?" he asked as he picked up his glass of wine.

"Yeah sure," she said putting down her lo mein.

"There has obviously been something going on between us..."

Felicity smiled as he said that.

"...but," he continued, "there are so many reasons we shouldn't start anything again."

Felicity hadn't been expecting that at all.

"Why do you say that?" she asked pulling up her knees and wrapping her arms around them.

"Well because you only just got divorced and I'm in the process of getting divorced. Because neither of us have the energy or time for a relationship. Because I don't want to lose our friendship because it means so much to me..." he said pausing.

"And?"

"And I won't be Ben's second choice. If there is one thing I learned from all of this is that you come to me when you can't have Ben and then you go back to Ben. I deserve so much better than that and for the longest time I didn't think so. I was also and still am so madly in love with you I couldn't see past that," he said getting heated up and as he realized how he sounded he shamefully took a gulp of his wine.

"Noel?" Felicity said sympathetically.

"Yeah?" he replied looking at her across the table setting.

"I don't know how I could ever make up for all the years. I don't know how I could prove that all this time I've loved you so much. I don't know why things went the way they did. I don't know why I did the things I did. All I know is that looking at you right now you are all I want. I also know that Ben came and asked me back again..." Felicity paused.

"Yeah?"

"I said no, Noel," she said with a small smile at him.

"Are you sure about that?" 

"I've never felt so sure in my entire life. I just want to follow my heart right now. That's if you are willing to follow me?" Felicity said with a sly grin.

Felicity then crawled across the room towards Noel and the song _I Love You _played. When she got in front of him she leaned up and kissed his lips. She could feel all the energy rushing between them. His hands came up to her neck and she wrapped her arms around him. He pulled her to him and he laid her down on the floor. He pulled his shirt up over his head revealing his smooth skin and nicely toned chest and arms. 

As he came back down to her he passionately kissed her and Felicity gripped his bare back with all the ecstasy flowing through her veins. Noel sat up so they could pull off Felicity's shirt. Before they knew it they were both naked on the floor, in the candlelight making love with every ounce of energy they had. As if they had been saving up all these years to finally be together as they always wanted to be. It was true. This was how they really wanted to be and you could tell how they connected. Their skin intertwined and soaking up every second they could.

Afterwards they curled up in a blanket with their skin soaked and Noel had his whole body around her to keep her as warm as possible. Noel was again stroking her hair.

"I've always wanted to ask you something..." he said quietly into her ear.

"Yeah?" she asked turning towards him a little.

"What were you thinking when you chopped off your hair?" he asked in a sarcastic tone.

"Jerk!" she said hitting him and trying to pull away for a moment but he only pulled her back tighter.

"Don't think you're going anywhere," he said kissing her shoulder and neck.

"I wouldn't dream of it," she said turning to him again as they went for round 2.

  



	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Felicity and Noel woke up tangled in each others arms under a blanket on the floor of her apartment in the morning. All Felicity could feel was his warm skin next to hers and it just made her want to nuzzle into him even more. As she did that Noel woke up groggily and hugged her even tighter. He let out a little groan of happiness and then moved her curly hair away from her shoulder so he could gently kiss it.

"Good morning," he said a little groggy since he had just woken up.

"Yes it is," she said turning towards him but not leaving his arms.

"I was afraid when I woke up that this all would have been a dream. I've dreamt about it so many times but I never imagined it would have happened. Can we stay right here forever?"

"I wish," she smiled and kissed him on the lips, "but we can for like another hour."

For another couple hours they lay in each others arms and talked until they just absolutely had to get up. It was a late Saturday morning. Felicity still had to get her apartment together and the movers would be there in another hour or so. Noel had the day with his daughter and didn't want to be late.

"You can take a shower first, I know you need to get going," Felicity said as the got up and started putting some clothes on.

"Alright," he said heading off to the bathroom. As he started taking a shower Felicity went in to brush her teeth.

"Hey, can you come here for a second?" Noel asked from inside the shower.

"Why?" Felicity giggled.

"Because I have to ask you something," he said his face sticking out of the shower curtain all wet and sudsy.

Felicity walked over to him knowing he was up to no good.

"What?" she said as she stood in front of the shower. Noel then took her hand and pulled her into the shower in her t-shirt and underwear. She screamed for a moment and then started laughing like crazy. Felicity calmed down when Noel started taking her drenched shirt off and kissing every inch of her wet skin. Then he got down on his knees and pulled off her underwear. He kissed up her legs, to her stomach and then her lips all while the water poured down their skin. Felicity closed her eyes and leaned her face up so the water hit her face while she simply enjoyed everything he did to her.

After about an hour they finally finished the shower and there was no more hot water left either. Noel got dressed very quickly and ran out of there to pick up Casey which he'd probably just make it in time for. Of course he didn't leave without giving her another passionate kiss just before he headed out the door.

When Noel left Felicity put on her running pants and a t-shirt and just sat on her couch with a cup of coffee. She felt so happy that she wanted to scream out the window that she was madly and hopelessly in love. Just thinking about Noel brought a huge grin to her face and sometimes a giggle too. She also took in her apartment. As she looked around she figured out where she wanted everything to go. She then started walking around feeling the place out. Her very own apartment, she could hardly believe this was all happening to her, finally. As she walked into her second room all she could imagine was it as a nursery. She desperately wanted to have a child but she knew it would be a long way off before she could have one. I mean she was in the middle of her first divorce and just started a brand new relationship. She leaned again the doorway and smiled as she imagined how the room would look one day.

Later that day Elena came over to help her unpack and get everything where she wanted it to be. Right when Elena walked in she immediately went to the refrigerator for a coke, hopped up on the counter and asked the inevitable question.

"So did you and Noel bang yet or what?" Elena asked bluntly as always.

"Elena, that's private," she said with a grin.

"It's about time. We've all been waiting. Megean had a pool going," Elena said taking a sip of her coke.

"Oh my god!" Felicity said running her fingers through her long curls, "you know…you'd think we'd all grow up when we were all settling down and everything but you guys are just the same." She says laughing.

"Seriously Felicity, what's going on?" Elena said sympathetically.

Felicity took a breath and leaned against the counter. 

"I don't think I've ever been happier in my entire life…" Felicity said choked up a little.

"So all this time you never even loved Ben? All this time you loved Noel but pushed him away for Ben?" she said confused.

"I know," she laughed, "it makes zero sense." She continued to laugh as she put her face in her hands.

"You know you're crazy right?" Elena said laughing with her.

"I know! Neither of us are even divorced. Why would after all this it end up like this?"

"So seriously…what was all those years with Ben if in the end you really wanted Noel?"

Felicity walked over to the couch and pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged them. She then rested her chin on her knees.

"I think I've always loved both of them but in completely different ways. I liked being with Ben when I was younger because I never really knew what was going to happen next. It's just eventually everything just wore off…I thought he was the guy I was meant to be with. With Noel I always thought I was just too comfortable with him but it's so much more than that. I finally realized what it feels like to have your best friend be your soul mate."

"So you sure this time?" Elena said sitting beside her.

"I've never been so sure about anything in my entire life," Felicity said with a huge uncomplicated smile.

After a few weeks went by Felicity and Noel tried to figure out where things were going. They knew they wanted to be together but Noel's divorce was really getting in the way. They didn't want to confuse Casey or upset Zoë. So for a while they kept it really casual which was fine since life was just crazy at the moment anyway. On the occasion Noel slept over at Felicity's place but they had to make sure it wasn't a weekend he got Casey and that Zoë wouldn't find out. In general though things seemed pretty good to Felicity. Finally she was in a place that she felt she was meant to be. That was until Noel asked her to meet him for dinner.

They met at a restaurant down the street from her work. She met him there right after work so she was still in her scrubs. When she got there he seemed a little weird and she knew something was wrong. He gave her a quick hug and they then ordered drinks.

"What's wrong babe?" Felicity said touching his hand but he reacted in a off manor. She could feel him pulling away.

"I don't know how to say this," Noel said.

"Then just say it," she said going on the defensive. This was just great, just when she realizes where she wants her life to go he pulls away from her. Could she just not win ever?

"Zoë wants full custody…" he said trailing off.

"What? She can't do that!" Felicity said furiously.

"Apparently she's got a pretty good case since she's her mother and they always favor the mother. Also she's been doing really well on her medication," he said taking a sip of his beer.

"Well why is she doing this?" 

"…because she knows that you and I are together. She says as long as I am with you that I cannot have shared custody," he said really upset.

"Noel…we'll beat this. We can do anything together," Felicity said trying to take his hand again and he accepted it warmly.

"You know…I never thought I'd really get this chance with you. I never thought you'd feel the same way about me as I have always felt about you," he said smiling into her eyes. She was tearing up.

"I can't believe all the time I've missed with you, you are the most amazing guy I've ever known," Felicity said bringing his hands to her lips and kissing them gently.

As a tear rolled down Noel's cheek he suddenly pulled away from her.

"There are a lot of times that I thought were the hardest things I ever had to go through. Like the time you left me at the airport to go off with Ben. Or the time I found Zoe in the bathroom with her wrists slit. Or the day I had to go to your and Ben's wedding. But this is the hardest thing ever…I can't see you anymore," he said obviously holding back the tears.

"But Noel," Felicity said but he had left. Just as he walked out the door she suddenly felt sick and ran to the bathroom to throw up. She then sat on the floor of the bathroom for a moment as she cried. How many chances could 2 people have to be together?

Felicity called into work the next day and the day after that. She'd felt really sick. Megean came over to see if she was okay.

"I brought something that I think will help," she said holding a pharmacy bag.

"What?" Felicity said groggily under blankets on the couch.

"Here," she said handing her the bag.

Felicity opened the bag and found a pregnancy test.

"Megean, it's not funny," Felicity said looking up at her.

"Actually it is pretty funny," Megean said with a chuckle, "but seriously. You've been throwing up for days now."

"I just want to be alone right now," Felicity said pulling up the blankets.

"We aren't in college anymore. There isn't time for worrying or being upset. I have to pick up Mark from soccer practice," she said.

Felicity looked at her with an almost smile.

"Yeah yeah, I know. I never thought I'd say those words either," Megean said as they both laughed."

A short time later Felicity picked up the test in her hand looking at the results. She sat back down on the toilet with a thud putting her hand to her mouth. Megean couldn't quite tell at first if Felicity was happy or upset. When Felicity looked up at her it was no doubt that Felicity was pregnant. Felicity did look a mixture of ecstatic and miserable. Megean got down on her knees in front of Felicity and wrapped her arms around her. Felicity from there cried.

All through the pregnancy Felicity struggled with whether or not she should tell Noel. In her heart she knew that she should tell him. She desperately loved him and wanted to share her joy with him but she just couldn't bare to add any more chaos to his life. Zoe hearing that she was pregnant wouldn't help Noel's case in the divorce. So for the entire pregnancy Felicity just absorbed the love of the child she and Noel had created. She could already feel that the baby was extremely warm and loving. Felicity barely had any pains or morning sickness. Though the sickness of lying to Noel was enough to drive her crazy anyway.

So many times she wanted to pick up the phone and call him. She thinks he even had tried calling her a couple times because she got a hang up on her answering machine. All of her friends kept the pregnancy a secret from Noel, which wasn't so hard. Noel was as overwhelmed as she expected him to be. She asked about him often and how it was all going. They kept saying it was nearing the end but from what she could tell it wasn't ending. Once the divorce was final she figured she'd tell him, whether or not they got back together. She knew they'd both love this child with their full hearts.

One night when Felicity was just sitting around waiting to go into labor she decided to take a stroll through the nearby park on that warm May evening. As she walked she took in every sense because she could feel everything so strong. The slight breeze tingled her skin. The stars were shining so strong that they almost were stinging her eyes. She talked to the baby, which she had decided not to know the sex of the baby. She tried to get the baby to respond with a kick but it didn't. She could sometimes feel the baby move but it never emphatically let itself know it knew she was there. 

Felicity stopped in the middle of a small bridge that looked over the river. She leaned over and looked at the water that sparkled so brightly she almost wanted to cry. She just missed Noel so much, more every day. Just then she heard her name called…it was Noel coming towards her.

"Noel?" Felicity said but didn't move. She didn't want him to see her stomach. She knew he'd be so hurt.

"I have been looking for you all night," he said a little out of breath and apparently not noticing her size just yet.

"You have?" she said. It was the best thing she'd heard in ages.

"Before you say anything I want to say that the divorce is finally over. To make things even better I got shared custody with Casey…" he said with the biggest smile.

"That's wonderful Noel," she said touching her stomach slightly.

"Oh and get this. Zoe is dating someone!" he said excited.

"You're kidding!" she said surprised.

"Yeah I was shocked too…she's doing so well. We had dinner a couple days ago and she told me how happy she was. How sorry she was for everything that she put us through and that she knew how much I loved you…" he said as he looked down to the ground.

"Are you ok?" she asked wanting to hug him but she could tell he wasn't finished.

"No, I'm not," he paused, "I haven't been myself since I had to stop seeing you. What was even worse than the fact that we had to stop dating was that I lost you as a friend all this time. I've tried to ask about you to Megean and Elena but nobody would ever really tell me anything. I figured you hated. Then I told Megean about all my news and she told me to find you," he said and then he turned her towards him and suddenly noticed she was pregnant.

"Oh god, Noel. Let me explain," she said grasping for words…any words. She couldn't seem to find any.

"Wow, um…is it mine?" he asked obviously with a lack of words himself.

"Yes of course Noel," she which was what she'd been dying to say all these months.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me," he said stepping back upset, "how could you keep this from me all this time?"

"Noel, I wanted to tell you so badly but I just knew you were going through so much and I didn't know how this would ruin your chances of custody of Casey. I knew how much that meant to you…"

Noel just stood there for a moment and she just stared at him in silence. He was obviously in deep thought and confusion. Suddenly he looked at her and looked at her stomach. He gently put his hand on her belly and just then the baby kicked. Felicity let out a laugh of joy.

"Oh my god!" she started to cry, "I've been waiting for the baby to kick all these months."

"I can't believe you are having my baby," he said about to cry himself.

"Me neither," she said as he wiped away a tear falling down her cheek.

"Felicity, all this tells me that Fate is making damn sure that we end up together. I wondered for a while if it was meant to be but this tells me it's definitely true. I had come here to ask you something…" he said his eyes melting into hers. 

"Yeah?"

He then got down on one knee and took her hand.

"Felicity, I've never met anyone on this earth like you. You've given me every emotion that is humanly possible. You've broken my heart but also kept it alive all these years. I knew the moment I met you I wanted to wake up to you in my arms for the rest of my life…" he said getting choked up. She could feel his hands shaking.

"Noel it's ok," she smiled and took his hands in hers.

"Felicity…" he said when just then her water broke.

"Shit!" Felicity screamed.

"What?" Noel said confused.

"I'm going into labor!"


	7. Chapter 7

****

Chapter 7

Noel flagged down a cab for Felicity as quickly as he could and asked the driver to rush to the nearest hospital. As they sat in the car anxiously and Felicity breathing heavily Noel held onto her hands tightly. She was obviously very scared but Noel kept telling her that she would be fine and that he'd make sure of it. Though going into labor wasn't Felicity's only concern.

"Noel, I'm so sorry," she said as she cried and continued to heavily breath.

"It's ok. We need to deal with this right now you know?" he said calmly.

"But I don't want you to hate me or the baby," she said crying even more now.

"Felicity, you know after all these years I could never hate you. I could also never hate our child. I just hope she has your hair and your smile," he said touching her cheek.

She smiled at him briefly and then started screaming from the pain as a contraction came on again. They quickly got themselves to the hospital and a nurse immediately took Felicity inside while Noel stayed in the lobby to deal with all the forms and such. Noel also made sure to call everyone, including Elena who had been her labor coach all this time.

Within an hour everyone else had shown up. Sean helped Noel deal with all the basic things while Noel could concentrate on Felicity. At one point Noel came out into the Lobby to get something for Felicity when Megean stopped him.

"Are you okay?" Megean asked as Noel stopped briefly to catch his breath.

"Yeah I'm okay, I can't believe all this time nobody told me she was pregnant," he said with an annoyed tone.

"Are you mad at her?"

"Well normally I might have been, but her water broke in the middle of everything."

"Well that's good. She was trying to do what was best for you even though it killed her the entire time."

"I hate to think she had to do this all on her own this whole time," he said sadly.

"Well, she doesn't have to anymore," she said as Noel smiled at her and went back in.

Just as he got back to the room she was gone. He found a nurse and asked where Felicity was taken. They said she was ready to deliver. They said there were a few complications.

Terrified, Noel ran down the hallway to where they directed him to go. They had him scrub in and put on all the necessary things to help out. When he got inside Felicity was crying and they were giving her drugs.

"Noel, where were you?" Felicity said reaching her hand out for his.

"I'm so sorry, I was…" he was about to say when she interrupted him.

"I don't care," she said in a moan. He ran over to her and held her hand. He smoothed her hair back from her face and then walked over to the doctor across the room.

"What's going on? Is she okay?" he asked quietly so Felicity wouldn't hear.

"The baby is stuck. We are going to have to do a Cecarian," the doctor said as he was preparing everything.

"So she's okay?" he asked nervously.

"She's going to be fine," he said as he headed over to Felicity.

"Is everything okay?" Felicity said amidst her breathing.

"You are going to be wonderful." 

"Sure, once this is fucking over!" she bellowed in a voice he'd never heard out of her.

Soon after they did the Cesarean and things went pretty well. When Felicity was finally well they laid her new baby girl on her chest. Noel came up beside her and kissed the baby's head and then Felicity's. He couldn't believe how lucky he was. At 33 years old he finally had all his dreams come true, well…almost.

"You did so well," he said smiling down at Felicity and their new girl.

"She's so beautiful, what are we going to name her?" Felicity asked looking up and Noel and back down at her baby girl.

"It's up to you," he said with his hand on the baby's head smoothing out the sparse hair.

"Keegan," she said smiling at her and then kissing her on the forehead.

"I love it. Why Keegan?" 

"It means small fiery," she said looking up at him and smiling. 

"Sounds like a small you," he said staring into her eyes.

"I love you too," she said as he kissed her fully on the lips.

"Will you marry me?" he asked after they kissed.

Felicity started crying again. "Yes," she barely whispered between sobs.

"I didn't think you'd be crying when I asked you," he said laughing.

"Well, when you ask me after being in hours of labor that's what you get," she said trying to calm down the tears and then laughing.

"Well I planned to ask you in the park until you went into labor."

"Yeah, sorry about that," she said touching her hand to his face and smiling into his hazel eyes.

"I guess I'll forgive you."

When they brought Keegan home it was to Felicity's place. Sean had already brought a bunch of Noel's stuff there. The apartment was filled with flowers and balloons. Felicity had started decorating the nursery during her pregnancy but was surprised to come back to find it all done. She put Keegan into her crib and Noel walked up behind her to also look down at Keegan nestling into her new home.

"Everything finally feels right," she said leaning her head onto Noel's shoulder.

"I'm going to take a long bath," she said with a sigh.

"I'll get it ready for you," he said as he kissed her and went off to the bathroom.

When Felicity went in later in her bathrobe she found the bathroom lit up my candles. There was even a small cd player that was playing a mixture of Dido and John Mayber, both some of her favorite music. She sighed with happiness, took off her bathrobe and got in the warm water overflowing with bubbles. She leaned back and took in everything. Her mind filled up with thoughts of her newborn baby and her soon to be husband. If someone had told her 10 years ago that this was how her life was going to turn out she would have told them they were insane. She thought back to college when she first met Noel and how he was so adorable but she could never fully see that because of her infatuation with Ben. Noel had loved her just the way she was from the moment she met him but she was always too blind to see everything in him. She felt so lucky now though. 

There was a knock at the door.

"Yes?" Felicity answered with a moan.

"Can I come in for a second?" Noel asked and she told him to just come in.

"Would you join me?" she asked.

"What about Keegan?" 

"Bring in the baby monitor and we'll keep the bathroom door open," she said as he hurriedly got the baby monitor and came rushing back into the bathroom. 

He climbed in behind her so she could lean again him. He gave her a back massage while constantly kissing her neck and shoulders. Then "Her Body is a Wonderland" by John Mayer came on and he sang it softly to her in her ear. She giggled as he did it partially because it tickled her ear and also because singing was never really his forte but it was sweet nonetheless. 

"I have a scar on my stomach from the C-section," she said pouting and pointing at her scar.

"Another way that makes you so unique," he said touching it with his fingers.

She giggled and turned back to kiss him.

"Shall we make a wedding date?" she suggested.

"Great idea, but let's wait until you are fully better," he said playing with the bubbles in interesting ways on her body which was making her laugh.

"How about in July?" she suggested.

"Sure, where did you want to do it?" 

"At this point it doesn't really matter to me. I don't want anything big or fancy. Ben and I did that. I just want to marry you."

"Well that's good," he said hugging her.

"We should probably get out soon, I don't want to leave Keegan alone for too long," she said about to get out.

"Just one more minute," he said as his hands started roaming around in the bubbles.

"Noel, we can't do anything now. I just was in labor all night and you are supposed to wait like 6 weeks or something," she said hitting his arm.

"I'm glad to know you think so highly of me Felicity…but that's not what I was doing," he said as he pulled his hand out of the water and he had a gorgeous diamond ring in his hand, "I've been meaning to give this to you but you've been kinda busy."

Felicity was speechless as he placed the sudsy glowing ring onto her finger. She sat there staring at the ring for a moment just in awe of how beautiful it was. It was an antique silver ring with a round shaped diamond. 

"Does that mean you like it?"

"Noel, it's gorgeous. Did you have it in the tub this entire time?" she asked with a big smile.

"I had it on my pinkie finger," he said holding out her hand to see how it looked on her hand. Then he kissed her hand.

"You're too cute," she said turning her head to kiss him.

"It's a gift, what can I say?" he said as he got out of the tub, put a towel around his waist and walked out of the room but popped back in to say "I love you."

She smiled at him as he closed the door.

When Felicity got out of the bathtub about 20 minutes later she blew out the candles and turned off the radio. As she stepped out of the bathroom and realized the stereo was playing in the living room. It was the song "I'll Be" by Edwin McCain. As she quietly walked into the living room she saw that Noel was slowly dancing with their daughter cradled in his arms. Her head was resting on his shoulder as she slept peacefully in his arms. As she watched the most beautiful moment in the world a tear rolled down her cheek. She then walked up to him and as more tears streamed down her face she touched his arm as she stood in front of him.

"This isn't going to work if you keep crying all the time," he said with a smile. She leaned in to kiss him and then she kissed her daughter. Noel then wiped her tears away with a free hand and then pulled her in to him. She also leaned her head against his shoulder and finally knew how truly amazing being madly in love could be.


	8. Chapter 8

****

Chapter 8

After only a couple months of planning Felicity and Noel had their wedding planned to a T. They decided to do similar to what Felicity had said to be her dream wedding but instead of a beach it was would be on a cliff in California. 

Everyone was invited, all of their friends, including Ben. They sent out very simple invitations that Noel designed himself on his brand new imac. Felicity found the perfect dress that would fit her whether or not she lost the weight from having Keegan. Her dress was off-white with spaghetti straps. The fabric was silk and it flowed down to the floor. The decided Noel would wear just dress pants and a dress shirt. They wanted to keep it as low key as possible.

It turned out everyone would be able to make it. All of their friends from college would be coming and they were so excited about it all. Felicity's mother and father were finally pleased with her choice of men though they wished she'd have waited to get pregnant after they were married but there wasn't much choice left in that.

Felicity was in the bedroom packing for the trip. When Noel walked in to find her having torn the room apart and running around like a chicken with it's head cut off. Her hair was pulled back in a loose pony tail but ½ of it was all in her face. Keegan sat in her crib gurgling which seemed like she found the view just as funny as he did.

"Everything alright?" he asked from the doorway.

"I have no idea what to pack?! I have to pack for the couple days before the wedding, the rehersal, the wedding, and the honeymoon!" she said frantically.

"Ok…just pack whatever you want. We'll find a way to get it all there. Don't worry about over packing," he said putting his hand on her shoulder, which, as always, got her to stop and breathe.

With that Felicity sat down exhausted on the bed with a thump causing many of clothing to fall onto the floor. She then lay down on the bed with a big sigh and Noel lay next to her. She immediately rested her head on his shoulder as he put his arms around her.

"Why am I such a mess?" she asked him softly.

"Because you just had a baby and are now planning a wedding while trying to be a mother," he said stroking her hair.

"Yeah…" she agreed.

"Maybe it was too much for you to take on. I knew I should have done more."

"Noel, you have your own business to run which takes up most of your time. There was no way you could have really helped, besides, Eleana and Megean have helped a lot."

"Then what else needs to be done?"

"We need to pack and we leave tomorrow and I need to double check on everything--" she said as he cut her off.

"Listen, go take Keegan for a walk outside, it's beautiful out, and I'll finish everything up," he said as he sat up.

"Noel," she said as she wrapped her arms around him, "just when I think you can't get any sweeter!"

"You bring it out in me," he said giving her a kiss.

As Felicity walked through the park on a very hot Thursday afternoon she thought about her wedding to come. She had pretty much everything setup. When she gets to California she will visit the spot with Noel to make sure everything is how they want it. She also thought about how she planned to visit Ben so she could try to really make peace with him. They hadn't talked in quite a while at this point and she really wanted to be friends with him. 

Suddenly she realized Keegan had dropped her bottle and she kneeled beside the stroller to give it back to her. She smiled her sweet smile and went back to where she had left off. Felicity couldn't stop staring at Keegan's eyes, they were definitely Noel's eyes which was exactly what she wanted. She just loved her so much and loved Noel so much she could hardly comprehend the amount. She felt so full she could just burst.

With that thought she headed home.

"Let's go have dinner with daddy?" Felicity said to Keegan who only gurgled in response but Felicity knew Keegan missed him just as she did.

When Felicity got back she saw all their bags were by the door and a fresh pizza was sitting on the kitchen table. She smiled as she put her things down and took Keegan out of her stroller. Just then Noel came out of the office.

"Hi guys!" he said as he came over to give Felicity a big kiss and kissed Keegan on top of her head.

"Seems like you took care of everything," she said as she sat down at the table and Noel took Keegan.

"Yeah and I want you not to worry. I'm sure I packed everything so I just want you to relax. All I want you to have on your mind is our daughter and marrying me," he said as he gave Keegan the new bottle he prepared.

"But…" she said ready to protest.

"No buts this time. The point of this small wedding was to not worry and I am going to make sure from now on you don't."

"Ok," Felicity said trying to let go of her worry, which wasn't too hard because trusting Noel, was the easiest thing she ever did.

By the evening Felicity was in bed having already put Keegan to bed and being all too aware that she wouldn't get to sleep through the entire night. Although many times Noel got up to take care of her so she could get a full night's sleep. As she lay in bed waiting for Noel she looked over to watch him in the bathroom brushing his teeth. She couldn't stop staring at him. Standing there in scrubs and no shirt. He was still in amazing shape and she found him sexier than ever now that they had finally really gotten together. He then realized she was staring at him and he gave her a big smile full of toothpaste. Felicity laughed and pulled the covers up.

Shortly after Noel joined her under the covers and right away pulled her into his arms. He then quickly reached over her and turned out the lights. Suddenly he was kissing her with all the passion he had from the first kiss and the 2nd…they never faltered. His hands were on her back and then running up her smooth legs. It was just around the time it was okay to start having sex again and he knew it. She had missed having his hands and lips all over her body. It had been way too long. 

Later the next day the three of them arrived in Palo Alto to prepare for their wedding the next day. Felicity and Noel decided to get their own rental car so they would have the freedom to get around while they were visiting. They needed to get some errands done, double check on everything and tonight was the bachelor/bachelorette parties. They were both very excited and nervous that everything would go right since they were used to having things go wrong with their relationship.

First they went to get their errands done like checking on the flowers, the caterers and picking up her dress. After that they went to see the spot for the wedding. When they got there they walked up near the edge with Noel holding Keegan. Felicity felt the warm June breeze across her skin and looked at the magnificent view that would tomorrow hold her most amazing dreams. She wrapped her arms around herself and took in beautiful thoughts of her wedding. She then looked up at her fiancé, her best friend and the only guy that ever really understood her, and she smiled. He looked down at her and put his arm around her shoulders.

"This is amazing," he said squeezing her.

"It blows away the picture we saw. My mom really does know my taste I guess," she said squeezing him back.

"Were you surprised?" 

"Yeah, my mom and I have never really seen eye to eye but you knew that."

And he didn't have to say anything because he did know. They never stopped talking to each other since they met and nobody knew her as well as he did. Even the 10 years married to Ben she talked to Noel the most. Noel was just always there and now she really knew what that meant. Just as she thought that he leaned down to kiss her on top of her head and then did the same to their daughter.

Finally Felicity and Noel made it to her mother's house. After the divorce Felicity was happy that her parent's were able to stay friends. In fact they enjoyed each other's company now it seemed more than before. So when Felicity go to the house, which was her childhood house, it was full. Her mom was there with her new husband Joe, her father with his long-time girlfriend Nancy and even some of her extended family. Felicity and Noel were greeted with so many smiles and Felicity couldn't remember a time her family was so cheerful…together.

"Hi hon, hi Noel," her father said giving her a kiss and shaking Noel's hand, "and who's this?" he said with the biggest smile and picked up Keegan. Felicity had never seen her dad like this before but when he was with Keegan he just became a pile of goo. He took her off and started playing with her. The rest of her family after saying their hellos followed him. Noel just looked at Felicity with a grin.

Felicity then went to go freshen up in the upstairs bathroom and after she was finished she walked into her old bedroom. She was surprised at how much it looked the same as back in high school. She walked around just taking it all in when she saw a picture of her and Ben on her nightstand from their summer freshman year. She picked it up trying to remember what she was like back then and it was such a faint memory. She did remember a lot of happiness with him. 

"Hey you," Noel said as he walked in the room, "I was starting to feel invisible down there," he said referring to everyone's attention going to Keegan.

"Well, it will be different tomorrow," she said trying to put the picture back as if she wasn't looking at it. She couldn't believe she still felt guilty.

"Felicity," he said with a laugh and put his arms around her from behind, "I love you and I know you love me. I am not worried about Ben anymore. Don't worry."

"Well that's good to know," she said turning around to him and kissing him fully on the lips. 

"Woah! Let's wait for the honeymoon," he said just as she started pulling his shirt up.

"Are you turning me down for sex again?" she asked with a pout.

"I must be insane," he said as he left the room while trying to compose himself.

Felicity looked again at the picture of her and Ben and sighed. She was so young back then, so naïve. She then walked out of the room and went to get ready for her bachelorette party.

Unfortunately for Felicity, Megean and Eleana were in charge of her bachelorette party so she knew she was in trouble. A big group of them went out on the town where they first got drinks and went dancing for a while. Then, when she had had several drinks, they dragged her to a strip club. She had a great time though and spent many one dollar bills.

When they dropped her off at her house she felt like she was seventeen again sneaking up to her bedroom, although she had never really done in high school. Still she wanted to be careful to not wake anyone up, especially Keegan and Noel who were sleeping in the other room. Although Richard, Sean and some others took him out for drinks tonight also so she realized he might not even be back yet. With that she went into the guestroom where Keegan was sleeping soundly in her crib. Felicity watched her for a moment because it always calmed her and then she pulled her blanket up so she was nice and snug.

As Felicity tiptoed to her bedroom she was definitely ready to pass out. She had a full day ahead of her tomorrow anyway with finishing up all the last arrangements and the rehearsal dinner. Before Felicity even shut the door to her room she was already stepping, clumsily, out of her pants and throwing on her pajama bottoms. She then stopped to look in the mirror and saw she looked hideous. She looked like she had been drinking all night. Then, like before, she saw the picture of her and Ben. She thought about how she should probably see him before the wedding but she wasn't sure if it was the best idea. She then opened the dress drawer to put away the frame when she jumped at the sound of something at the window. When she turned to look it was Ben.


	9. Chapter 9

****

Chapter 9

Seeing Ben at her window up on the 2nd floor sobered her up quickly. She stood there for a moment not quite sure whether she might be seeing things. She realized it was reality when he knocked again on the window and mouthed _can you open the window?_

Startled still she ran over to the window and opened it. A cool wind blew into the room and she wasn't sure whether it was the weather or them. 

"What are you doing here?" she said confused and annoyed at the same time. She wondered why he always seemed to think he could burst into her life whenever he liked. 

"I wanted to see you before you…" he paused not seeming to know what words to choose although she was happy to help him, "my wedding?"

"Yeah," he said as she motioned for him to come in. It was ridiculous standing at the window like that.

After he straightened himself out they found themselves standing there in uncomfortable silence. It appeared to her that he didn't quite know what he wanted to say.

"You really can't be here. You can't just drop into my life like this anymore. I thought we got past everything Ben," she said as she began to pace.

"I didn't want to cause you any trouble and I wasn't here to try to get you back. I just wanted to see you before the ceremony," he said with an easy smile and sat on the windowsill.

"Oh," Felicity said feeling a bit embarrassed at the moment, "well then I guess it's not a big deal…but you can't stay long."

Ben smiled and there was a moment of confusion between them. It's almost like they didn't know each other anymore and they both regretted that. Felicity started playing with her engagement ring uncomfortably.

"That's a great ring, it suits you," he said as he walked over to look at it more closely. 

"Yeah," she said looking down at it and it still gleamed a bit even though it was nighttime. 

"I really wanted to tell you that I am genuinely happy for you and I know you have made the right decision."

"Yeah, it's about time," she said as they both laughed.

"I know you'll be living in New York but I'd like to stay in touch. Beyond everything we've been through I've always felt I could talk to you, I don't want to lose that," he said stepping a little closer. 

"I think that would be great Ben. How is everything for you anyway?" she asked as she leaned on the vanity table.

"I've been seeing this girl Mary for a while and she's great, you'd like her."

"Is she a blonde?"

"No, she's actually a red head," he said with his usual crooked smiled.

"Good," she smiled back, "blondes don't suit you."

The stood there once again as if they were trying to decide if there was anything left to say but there wasn't. They had a romance at one time and it wasn't meant to be. They could honestly be friends now and that meant a lot to her. She didn't realize how much she really wanted it until that moment.

"Congratulations," he said as he gave her a hug.

"Thank you," she paused, "are you coming to the wedding?"

"I haven't decided yet."

"Well I hope you do. It would mean a lot to me."

With that they hugged again and he went back out the window. She knew having him leave through the front door would be setting herself up for a lot of aggravation. There were way too many relatives here, her daughter woke at just about any noise and she'd die if Noel saw him. She figured she could tell him about the visit on the honeymoon.

The next day everything couldn't have gone better. The rehearsal dinner was great. Everyone got a chance to just chat and catch up a little before the big hoopla. Before they knew it, it was the morning of the wedding. Felicity was in her bridal room with her bride's maids, which included Eleana as the maid of honor, Megean and Julie as brides maids. Javier was also there to give his help to Felicity. Felicity stood in front of the mirror as they were putting the finishing touches on her. Her hair was swept up off her neck with a few strands of curls falling down around her face. She had a few flowers weaved through her hair and very light makeup.

"This is unbelievable," Eleana said standing back in awe of how stunning Felicity looked.

"Yes, you look like a fairy princess," Javier said as he hugged her tightly and stepped back to look at her again, "You make me so proud. I haven't been so happy as when an Aberbarbie model hit on mee."

"Do you mean Abercrombie?" Megean said in her usual tone.

Javier looked at her and rolled his eyes, "that eez what I said."

"Whatever," Megean said turning her attention to Felicity "Do you want me to do a spell to make sure you guys don't divorce?" 

Felicity rolled her eyes as usual. "I think we'll be okay Megean."

"Hey, if you could go back and just pick Noel from the beginning would you have?" Julie asked as she helped Felicity put on her necklace.

Felicity stood there for a moment taking in the thought and running all the years through her mind. All the pain, happiness, loss and rewards. Felicity then thought of what her life had become and how everything, for the first time, felt just right.

"Nope," she said taking her flowers from Megean's hands, "I wouldn't change a thing."

"Really?" Eleana said suprrised.

"If I changed anything it might not end up like this and I'm just glad I got what I wanted in the end," she said as she walked over to Keagan giggling as she rolled around on a blanket on the floor.

"Must you turn everything into a 'moment'" Megean said as she walked up to Felicity and hugged her before she headed outside to wait for the ceremony to begin.

"You look beautiful," Julie said as she took Keagan to give to Felicity's mother.

"Are you ready?" Eleana asked as they stood there about to head outside.

"I've never been more ready," Felicity said as they got ready to walk down the isle.

"I have to tell you," Eleana said as Felicity stopped to listen to what she had to say, "Noel has loved you so much for as long as I can remember. Living with him our sophomore year gave me a real honest look at how he felt about you. Nobody has ever looked at you like Noel does."

Felicity looked at Eleana with both of them on the verge of tears and they hugged very tightly.

"Thank you," Felicity said and not just for that comment but for their many years of friendship. Eleana has always backed her up and helped her when she needed it.

Eleana then headed outside because it was her turn to head down the isle and Felicity stood at the end of the isle at what lay before her. Felicity sighed as she felt a calmness fill her and she began to walk down the isle on her father's arm.

"I'm so proud of you," he said quietly to Felicity just before they began to walk and Felicity felt like her heart was going to explode. 

He then realized she was about to start crying, "I was hoping I wouldn't make you cry by saying that. I can't win," he said with a smile and she hugged him finishing off with a kiss on his cheek.

As the song _St. Elmos Fire Instrumental _began to play they started walking and Felicity immediately saw Noel waiting for her on the other end. He looked so handsome she felt completely overwhelmed and tears began building up in her eyes. She felt her father squeeze her arm a little bit to give her some reassurance. Felicity looked around to see all her family, Noel's family and friends filling up all the seats. Unfortunately she didn't see Ben but she wasn't really surprised. Then she saw her daughter completely content in her grandma's arms as Felicity shared a smile with her just before she got up to the front.

Her father let her go so she could join Noel at the altar. She could see that Noel was just as emotional as she was and she was suddenly aware that they very well both might start crying. Noel took Felicity's hand in his as the ceremony began. It was very short and to the point, just as they had wished it to be. They did however decide to do their own vows.

"Felicity, I remember the first time I saw you. You were in a frantic state as usual and had just gotten off the phone. I couldn't stop staring at you which caused you to jump at the site of me. Over the years despite the lack of romantic relationship between us I've come to love you more and more. You fill me up when I look at you and just lying next to you let's the whole world outside fall away. I never thought you'd ever really feel the way about me that I've always felt about you but all these years waiting has be worth it. All my dreams have come true…" he said as he started getting choked up and Felicity squeezed his hand, "If this is a dream though I hope I never wake up. I'd rather live in your forever in a fantasy world next to you." A tear then fell down his cheek and Felicity wiped it away with her hand.

"Noel, first and foremost you are my best friend. Whenever there has been anything I ever needed you were always the one I came to. It took me a lifetime to realize that you were so much more than my best friend but also my soulmate. It took me forever to come to my senses," she laughs and so does the audience, "but now that I finally figured out what I want I won't ever let that go. What I want is you Noel. You are all I ever wanted. My stupidity just always got in the way. I hope to make up all the years of pain I put you through with an eternity of love. You are everything I was looking for, I just didn't know it until now. I love you Noel," she said as they both started having tears running down their faces, "and you are the missing piece."

The both started crying a little bit but pulled themselves together for the end of the ceremony.

"I now pronounce them husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride," the minister said as Noel pulled Felicity into his arms and kissed her more passionately then ever before. He just couldn't hold back his feelings, the feeling of finally having the woman he truly loved all these years.

"Please welcome Mr. And Mrs. Noel Crane!" as the music chimed in the audience stood up in a wave of applause. Felicity and Noel took each others hands and began walking down the isle. Felicity looked over at Keagen who never looked so happy as she did that very moment. That was the icing on the cake for Felicity.

The reception was close by and also outside under the moonlight. Luckily it was a perfect night and the stars were shinning brighter than ever before. Felicity and Noel took the floor for the first song which was "I'll Be" by Edwin McCain.

__

I'll be your crying shoulder.

I'll be your love suicide.

I'll be better when I'm older.

I'll be the greatest fan of your life.

They danced in each others arms slowly and they both couldn't stop smiling.

"We actually did it!" Noel said with the biggest grin ever.

"Did you have doubts?" Felicity ask as she weaved her fingers through his.

"Of course not," he said with a smirk and they both laughed. 

The whole night was a whirlwind of laughter, tears and pure happiness. Felicity then suddenly ran into Richard at the dessert table where she was sneaking a piece of cake before someone else asked her for another picture.

"Hey there!" he said as he gave her a hug that she stumbled into and almost dropped the cake on her dress.

"Hey Richard," she said and would have been annoyed if it wasn't the best day of her life.

"Mind if I have a dance with Mrs. Crane?"

"I don't know, Noel's mom is on the other side of the room," she said with a laugh.

"Funny," he said as they walked onto the dance floor, "actually…she already turned me down."

Felicity laughed and danced happily with him. When the end of the song had come she saw someone from behind tap Richard on his shoulder.

"Mind if I have this dance?" and it was Ben. Felicity smiled brightly but awkwardly waited to see what Richard would say.

"Don't make me kick your ass!" Richard said as he walked off the dance floor.

"I didn't know you came," Felicity said as she felt very warm in his arms. 

"I was in the far back. It was beautiful," he said softly, "you look beautiful," he said gently touching her face and she came in closer to his arms. She hadn't felt so comfortable in his arms in a long time because finally she felt like she made the right choice. She finally now knew that Ben was her past and Noel was her future. They dance for a while without saying anything. There wasn't much either of them to say at this point, all the words had been worn out. Just then Ben saw Noel dancing nearby with his mother.

"Hey man. I'll let you take it from here," he said as he gave her a soft kiss on the lips and touched her hand as he walked away. He walked right out of the reception and Felicity knew at that moment she probably wouldn't see him again. It was a sad concept but she just knew.

"Um thanks," Noel said as he pulled Felicity into his arms, "what was that? I didn't even see him here."

"Everything is fine," she said with a smile as she watched Ben walk off into the night. She felt like maybe she might cry. Not so much of sorrow but of an overwhelming feeling that she finally was living the life she was meant to. As she looked up at Noel she looked into his warm hazel eyes that filled her with an eternity of warmth. She felt complete. Noel didn't say anymore because he knew that their future was wide open and full of whatever they chose to make of it. 

"Felicity," Noel said as she pulled back just enough to look up at him.

"What?"

"How does 8 o'clock sound?"


End file.
